Thank you soooo much everyone for all of the love and best wishes as I turned 50 in May! (where has the time gone??)
Those of you who know me well will know that I am quite a private person. Therefore, it will be no surprise that my birthday celebrations weren’t all over social media!
But, as you can see from some pics above there were LOTS of laughs, funny moments and yes some tears as I celebrated my life to date with some of my closest female friends in early May.
I have to say it is starting to feel like it is going to be more of a year of celebrations not just one day or month even. Already my birthday “spoiling” has extended beyond May with lots of lovely extra surprises from my hubby and kids. A client once said to me a 50th should be a year not just a day of celebrations and so far I am putting that advice into action quite nicely! Plus with my husband turning 50 last August we are both making the most of our 50th year!
I don’t know what 50 is meant to feel like but here goes…
I feel: grateful, loved, happy, healthy, content, spoilt (in a good way!), stylish, sexy and most of the time sane! 😊😊 Good name for a book hey! Haha!!
But seriously…From every inch of my heart THANK YOU to my beautiful family, treasured friends, valued clients and people who have and still join me in our personal life and business “VC style world”. I am truly blessed and look forward to the next 50+ years.
Which brings me to writing this blog…
Since I have spent most of the past 3 decades helping women embrace their style, bodies, colour palettes and general “mother nature given beauty”, I feel very compelled to share how I personally have done what I “preach” as I approached this milestone and the changes that came with it!
As I mentioned earlier I am quite a private person therefore you will only see very limited parts of my life on social media but please don’t think for one moment I have it all together all of the time. I too have my “fat days”, “hormonal days”, “bad hair days”, “bored with my wardrobe days” and most importantly “ups and downs” that in a nut shell – is just life.
However, as I have got older, wiser and yes…practise what I preach I find those tough days a bit easier and in some cases more bearable when I am being true to myself and valuing myself. It is like the old saying goes…”You can’t give what you don’t have” and if my “cup” is empty then I can’t fill other’s either who may need me.
So in this blog I thought I would share some of my mantras, realisations, tips and in some cases “tricks of the trade” that help me be the best person I can be. Ultimately, leaving me totally content in my own skin and stylish on my terms.
So here goes…(and not in any specific order of importance!)
You don’t have to be everything to everyone – some people don’t deserve our time and giving to those who don’t deserve you only gives you less time for those who truly value you and who you value!
I can’t do as much as I used to 10 years ago – and I don’t want to! – I am happy for a less hectic and stressful pace. I have earn it!
How we make others feel in life and how others make us feel is all that really matters – Material things are lovely to look at and can make life more enjoyable but when someone is gone all that is left is how they made us feel every time we think of them.
Recharge – I have learnt the hard way that if I don’t call “time out” sometimes and give myself some self love and attention then everyone else suffers too!
Drink water – not a mind blowing revelation but one that helps my skin stay hydrated, less lined and keeps me healthier!
Limit alcohol, coffee, chocolate and oily food BUT…still have them: deprivation never works for me – it just makes me want more!
Have a fabulous doctor, physio, hairdresser and beautician – self care is so important. You owe it to yourself and your loved ones.
MOVE often – I am not an exercise lover but I am a very active person and moving has always been important to me. Since I am quite active in my work hot yoga has been my go to exercise for well being in recent times. Hitting that 50 mark has made me even more comfortable with (or maybe it is an excuse for) my decision that high cardio isn’t for me. I find stretching and getting my heart rate up in a more relaxed manner like; a fast paced walk/hike or swim is much more my style.
Mind & Soul
Be strong in your conviction – do what makes you truly happy – not what you think others what you to be. Be firm with your values and morals while at the same time respecting other’s values and morals.
Stay true to yourself – it is easy to do what we think we “should” be doing and not actually do what we “want” to do. If it doesn’t make you truly happy don’t do it!
Where I really learnt this recently was with social media. So many bloggers, business people and entrepreneurs are gathering their “tribe” by bringing their personal life (kids included) into the view of the world. To each his own, and if this makes them happy and works for them fantastic but I learnt it wasn’t for me.
To be honest I fell into the trap of thinking I had to be more “real” and “sharing” online and in social media and it didn’t make me happy – it just made me feel overworked and exposed!
So for me and my family we decided that we would be very particular about what we share online and if it doesn’t add value to our client’s lives or our business then it isn’t really beneficial for anyone. Therefore, you won’t tend to see what we are eating (or other “non style” personal stuff) unless of course it has to do with fashion, style, shopping, colour, accessories or makeup! Happy days for everyone I would say!
Focus on the positive – I live by the glass half full mantra!
Say positive affirmations daily – the wonderful thing about affirmations (and many people don’t realise this) is that you don’t have to believe them…you only have to say them! Yes, our subconscious mind will do the work for us. As they say – positive attracts positive hence saying positive affirmations will attract positive outcomes. Try it…you have nothing to lose and I have proved it successful many times in my life recently.
Have inspirational “me time” – this is doing something I love that has no reason or outcome required except that I just love doing it. For me colouring in, browsing the shops – (believe it or not I enjoy this as it is so different to when I am on a shopping trip with a client), walking on the beach, baking, decorating my home or doing something crafty all satisfy the “earth mother” and creative side of my personality.
Always cleanse and moisturise every night before bed – make it a habit – I have made it such a part of my daily routine that I have been known to get back out of bed to do this after a late night out! Give your skin the best chance to renew itself with a clean and moisturised canvas.
Wear your fav perfume EVERYDAY! – don’t save it for a special occasion – everyday is special! A fragrance doesn’t have to be expensive, it just has to make you feel luxurious.
Soak in a bath! – oh this is one of my favourite relaxation times. Bubbles, therapeutic oils, a glass of water (wine can make me itchy if I am tired!) and candles! It is so important to find your “space” in your home and for me the sunken bath in our en suite is mine.
Wear your energy colours! – ok I preach this all the time and there is good reason for it…it will enhance your natural beauty (complexion, eyes and personality). Enough said. The proof is in our professional VC Colour Analysis – you will seriously thank us for it as so many hundreds of clients have over the years.
Find something you love about you! – and focus, enhance and enjoy it! For me I am grateful for my hair, skin, eyes, smile, broad shoulders and slimmer torso. Therefore, these areas are where I focus my styling and pampering instead of obsessing over and trying to loose the cellulite and chunkiness my legs seem to attract!
Master the VC 5 Minute Makeover so you can look refreshed, polished and vibrant everyday with minimum fuss!
Random acts of spoiling yourself – I like to buy fresh flowers for our home.
Clean makeup brushes weekly and makeup drawer and bathroom vanity often – amazing what you will find and also realise you don’t need. Plus clean, hygienic makeup brushes will result in better makeup finishes on your complexion and more importantly less chance of irritation or infection.
“In Home” manicure and pedicure weekly – I don’t have the time or inclination to spend on a mani/pedi every week (special occasions or monthly/bimonthly in summer time is my treat). However, I do love to pamper my hands and tootsies regularly with a DIY treatment. I always keep in a cosmetic bag (which also comes travelling with me): a good quality nail file, cuticle trimmers, cuticle pusher, cuticle oil, nail buffer and body exfoliant and moisturiser for my hands and feet. Along with this I keep my current fav nail polish, base/top coat and quick dry polish.
Have a facial – Twice a week I do an “in home” exfoliate and weekly a masque treatment however, I do LOVE a professional facial. I confess though, this is something I just don’t do often enough. Partly for not making it a time priority and partly because I can feel guilty spending on myself. BUT now I am 50 I have decided this is going to be something I will really try to prioritise because I know how important it is to look after our largest living organ…our skin. Plus, since I plan to age as gracefully and naturally as possible, a facial is really going to be an essential part of that beauty regime.
Plan your outfits ahead of time – when I feel I look my best (and I like what I am wearing) I seem to perform better as I am comfortable and able to get on with my day and focus my energy on others and what needs to be done. Therefore, pre planning my outfits stops that “what will I wear” dilemma in the morning and gives me more time to get ready.
Detox and reorganise your wardrobe monthly – doing this allows me to know what is actually in my closet that can service me right now. It also helps me determine what I may really need, not just what I want or am tempted to buy. I find having an organised and refined wardrobe not only stops me from over – spending it makes me be more creative with what I have.
Have a colour theme each season – this keeps me modern by adding new season colours to my wardrobe. It also updates my existing wardrobe items, meaning I often need to buy less to make outfits work and look refreshed.
Wear things that make you smile! – Enough said!
Clean or have professionally cleaned your “good” jewellery – I am very sentimental about my jewellery and have always treasured and looked after it. It means a lot to me and it gives me pleasure in looking after things that have been given to me with so much love.
Mending – this is often something that I can procrastinate over but when buttons are replaced, hems repaired and general maintenance on clothing items are complete it makes me feel soooo good and productive!
Photograph and flat lay outfits – this is something I often do for you guys to show how to put outfits together but I do find myself playing in my wardrobe just for me too at times. Laying out outfits is a great (lazy) way to see if an outfit could work together without having to get dressed and undressed!
Know what is trending – now for our clients we at VC do the work for you but even if I didn’t need to do this for work I would still do it for myself. Why? Because I truly believe keeping updated with trending colours, shapes and styles keeps me looking and feeling modern, youthful and stylish.
Life In General
Make a positive difference to someone everyday – even if it is just smiling at a stranger, complimenting someone or telling those you love “I love you”, I truly believe the most valuable thing in life is how we make others feel and in turn how they make us feel.
Be thankful everyday – to me true beauty comes from within and being grateful and thankful for what we have is not only a beautiful way to live but it will radiate from the inside out. Which brings me to my next point…
Have one-on-one time with loved ones – this is something we are very conscious of in our family, hence we treasure our mother/son, mother/daughter, father/son, father/daughter, sister/brother, hubby/wife one on one time! It is amazing how much you can learn about each other and share.
Be organised – this can feel overwhelming sometimes but writing lists, prioritising your time and focussing on one thing at a time can pay dividends in the long run. (Hard when you are an obsessive multi-tasker like me though!)
Make time for family and friends – nothing makes me feel more complete than the moments I share with those I love the most!
Live the 80/20 rule – for those who haven’t heard about this philosophy it is really about having balance in your life. I like to apply it to the following; Eat 80% healthy food – 20% unhealthy food, Spend 80% work/house duties – 20% play (although this one as I get older can be a little more 50/50), have 80% wardrobe staples – 20% fashion pieces. Remember that 20% of a wardrobe is worn 80% of the time.
Make wish lists – to me this not only clarifies what I really would like it also seems to act like a “positive affirmation” by being a list that I somehow seem to work towards and have at the fore front of my mind. I also make wish lists at the beginning of a season for my wardrobe to keep me on track and eliminate impulse buying.
Take holidays – I LOVE travelling and spending quality time with my loved ones. It is always exciting for me. Having a holiday to look forward to, especially when I am busy and consumed with deadlines or work commitments, seems to make everything easier and more enjoyable.
Be present – this is something I am not always great at as I seem to have so much going on in my head BUT it is something I am very conscious of being. By being present I mean give your 100% attention to the person or task in front of you. They will feel more important and you will enjoy the interaction much more too.
I hope you have enjoyed this little insight into how I try to deal with life as a woman having reached her 50’s.
I have in no way perfected anything. However, I do find by having some guidelines in which I try to live it can make this wonderful journey we call life, a little easier through the tough times and more fun through the good ones!
Sending lots of 50+ love to you all!
*Want more of how to be Stylish, Sexy and Sane…in 30 days! at any age?
Download Sam’s book HERE!